So in the end, the tears don't really mean much

Or do they? I think i'm finally feeling comfortable in my new skin. Flirtatious, and realistically uncommitted. Yes loneliness does eventually pays a visit but then she's become a great companion. I do my thing, I've always appreciated that.


How about when you start feeling attracted to someone? I don't think that i am at a position of compromising newly acquired freedom and perspective over an infatuation. But then again, how long does one need to be alone to find herself? What is the optimal time? At which time being lonely for too long makes us lose all sort of perspective? Well I'm about to find out

Smooth Sailing at The Speed of Light: Not Good!

So i guess it wasn't that hard after all. I was really looking forward for a week long of sobbing, sleepless nites, self-loathing, and speed dating, instead things turned out to be ok, and there's been nothing but smooth sailing . I do want to go out on more dates and scope the market while staying put on first base with the i-talian. i just hope  that this aint it!! I made a two week commitment!!!!

we did go out on a date and we made out again. He wants to move fast, and by fast i mean supersonic speed. Weekends together, sailing and surfing trips, new years eve in Argentina...!!! Not very sure what  to do, but i'm feeling awkwardly pressured. not very sure if the pressure is more internal, from within from me or external from his need to empty out his balls. as far as i'm concerned moving on is not about going to bed with somebody you barely know, especially when you're clearly using a guy to feel better about yourself and to be able to go to bed and wake up in the morning without the feeling if abandonment whispering in the back of your miserable conscience 'you might as well be six feet under'.

i don't want to have a relationship just want to move on. will practice that line in the mirror. I was able to tell Jorge that we shouldn't talk as much though it was really hard to make that decision. telling a guy i don't care about that i don't want to hit it off with him like in fairy tales should be easy nes pas?

Date at an Open Mic

Tomorrow I have a date with a friend. Tomorrow's day 1 on my voyage. A kiss has rolled between the two of us. Things between Jorge and I had been not rocky but powdery at that point. As a matter of fact they had for almost 2.5 years.

He's the perfect guy to bounce off from. Older in his 30s, gorgeous,I-talian, if you know what I mean, from Napoli. Honestly, he's a bit of a sketch-ball. He has a 'girlfriend'. I am friends with her. Not buddies buddies but ok, we're friends on fb. She's a doll and I dunno if i should give this guy a time of my day. But I only have 15 days to forget about Jorge...wut 2 do?

You're NOT THE ONE, so let's pretend we're COUSINS

Jorge and I work together, we're business partners. Business aside, he has put a grand, fat round full stop at the end of the relationship, but told me that because we get along so well, what he envisions for US in the future is for our future families to be very close. As if we are cousins!!!

Should i cry, laugh or gasp for air? I got so freaking hot that I knew that all cells of my body would soon ignite and catch fire had it not been for the tear that absorbed some of that heat and rolled down my eye.

I reluctantly agreed, but now that i think of it. That idea is utterly pathetic. I want to see if he'll still want to keep me around as a dear 'cousin' when he finally finds THE ONE that he brazenly told me i wasn't.


Let's say that in ten years time we're still friends and business is going great. He meets THE ONE and she hates me. I want to see that's going to work out.

In the end, I don't care....until then things and mostly our personalities will change so much and in ways we cannot begin imagining today.

An alternative scenario would be for me to accept the whole thing. Befriend this THE ONE (that doesn't exist) and go Manchurian candidate on this being cousins-with-my-ex thing.

Urgh! There's a voice in my mind that's telling me that we could be cousin/lovers...Is that normal? WHO.IS.THIS.VOICE? I'd be superfriends with THE ONE and be his lover, and babysit their children who would hang out with their siblings because my children will obviously be mine and his as well. hum....MUAHAHAHAHAHAH MUAHAHAAH

The End

I feel like shit - he said.

And that was the end of a 2 year long drag that was my relationship with Jorge.

Before hanging up, I, Gloria, had committed to getting over him in two weeks time. That is why
I created this blog. I created this blog because i want it to become the ultimate chick flick and plus I want to record a two week voyage thru pain, numbness and eventually getting to the point of seeing the light at the of the tunnel.


To all,

Bon Voyage avec moi